secrets
by veronique2
Summary: Michael had a secret and even Brian didn't know what it is this story is complete


Title: secrets  
  
Summary: After season two, Michael seems to have a secret and even  
  
Brian doesn't know what is it.  
  
Email address:  
  
Category: Romance, AU  
  
Spoilers: General QaF knowledge  
  
Rated: R  
  
Author's note: it's my first fic in english.. well I tried my best but it's seems  
  
that it's not enough so pardon me for this "strange English and poor  
  
vocabulary and grammar"  
  
Archive Permission:  
  
Disclaimer: Queer as Folk the series, characters and concepts are  
  
the property, copyright and trademark of Showtime and Cowlip. No  
  
ownership is claimed by the author; this work is non profit, non commercial and not for sale for commercial purposes. Characters and  
  
situations not specifically owned, copyrighted, or trademarked by the  
  
creators of Queer as Folk are the sole copyright of the author.  
  
  
  
  
  
Brian was happy, finally, everything was back to normal in his life. It was perfect, much like it had been two years ago. Justin was now living with Ethan. Ben and Michael split up after he moved to Tibet and Brian was there for Michael, just like Michael had been there for him when Justin moved out. Now that there was no one in Michael's life they were close again, still best friends and everything was the way it should be.   
  
  
  
He thought everything was perfect, then one Saturday afternoon he bumped into David at the supermarket. Brian was shocked, why wasn't he in Portland? After all this time David was back in Pittsburgh. 'What a nightmare.' He thought. When David looked up and saw him, Brian said:  
  
"What's up doc? What the hell are you doing here?"  
  
  
  
"Brian." He acknowledged, "I'm shopping, is that allowed?"  
  
"What the fuck are you doing back in Pittsburgh?"  
  
"That's none of your business you arrogant prick."  
  
Brian was angry. Was he back for Michael? Did Michael know the doc was in town? Had they met already? 'No, Michael would never keep a secret from me. If he knew about David, he would have told me." He thought.  
  
  
  
"So, how is Michael? I'm hoping we'll be able to meet soon and talk."  
  
"Well, that's not going to happen doc, Michael and I are together now and I don't want you interfering in our lives." The words had come so easily from him, he didn't even realize what he was saying. Brian was lying, he had too, he didn't want David talking Michael into getting back together. David wasn't surprised by Brian's announcement.  
  
"I know all about you two. He told me everything when he came to Portland. I was so happy to see him, thinking he was coming to live with me. But instead he told me that you had confessed your love and that you were now together. He broke my heart that day. He came to Portland because he felt he needed to tell me in person, then he caught his return flight. You won, I lost. I accepted that because I wanted Michael to be happy, it still hurts after all this time.  
  
"He told you that?" Brian didn't know what to say, he was so surprised. Michael was never living with David in Portland? All those weeks he was gone, where was he and why didn't he tell Brian what was really going on?  
  
"Are you ok, Brian?" David asked.  
  
"Stay away from him, he's mine now. Like you said, I won and you lost."  
  
"Why so defensive Brian? Are you afraid I can steal him away from you? Maybe I will give him a call. I'll see you around Brian, and say hello to Michael for me."  
  
Brian's perfect little world was a mess. Michael had never been with David, he lied to everyone about it all this time, he lied to David about them being a couple. And now David was back, threatening to steal Mikey away again and this time it was Brian that lied to David about his and Michael's relationship. 'What the fuck is going on?' He thought. Brian got in his jeep and drove to Mikey's store, he had to talk to him and hear his story before anything else.  
  
  
  
"Hey Mickey!"  
  
"Hi Bri, done shopping already?"  
  
"How did you know that I was shopping?" Brian asked with a puzzled expression on his face.  
  
"It's not a surprise, you always go to the supermarket on Saturdays."  
  
"Yeah, I guess.. Mickey?" Brian asked, brushing aside his friends remark.  
  
"What?"  
  
Brian smiled in a seemingly innocent manner, he wanted the truth, but he wanted Michael to tell him. "Guess who I bumped into? The good doctor."  
  
"What? You met your doctor?"  
  
"Fuck Michael, not my doc, *your* doc! "  
  
"You met my doctor? I don't understand."  
  
"I saw David, you know, the evil chiropractor Doctor Dave?"  
  
Michael placed his comic on the counter, he was obviously shocked by the news.  
  
"So Mikey, will you tell me what's going on?"  
  
"What do you mean? What did David say?"  
  
"Yes, he offered his congratulations on us finally becoming a couple." Brian's lie came out smoothly, he wanted to see Michael's reaction.  
  
"Anything else?" Michael asked worriedly.  
  
"No, just that. Can you explain to me what he was talking about?"  
  
"What did you tell him?" Michael asked, not answering his question.  
  
"What could I say? I was shocked, I didn't realize we were dating."  
  
"You? Too shocked?? It's possible? "  
  
Brian smirked, he wasn't about to tell Michael that it was now he who was pretending they were together. It was more fun this way.  
  
"So can you give me some answers? Darling?" Brian said sarcastically.  
  
"If you promise you won't be mad at me."  
  
"I'm already mad at you! How could you say that and not tell me?"  
  
"Ok! Look, I already know David's in town. I talked to him yesterday."  
  
"Oh really?" Brian was furious, 'He's lying right to my face' He thought.  
  
"He said he was still in love with me, that he wanted me back. He's never forgotten about the life we were supposed to have in Oregon."  
  
"Ya, what about your life in Oregon?" Brian asked angrily.  
  
"Why are you so mad? I'm trying to explain!"  
  
"I'm listening honey!"  
  
"I told him that our relationship was over a long time ago. Then I panicked and said it was impossible because you and I are together now. I'm sorry."  
  
"So that's what he meant when he congratulated me?"  
  
"Yes. You understand why I did it right?"  
  
"Yeah, yeah"  
  
"Still angry??" He asked hopefully.  
  
"No." But Brian was pissed off. 'How can he smile at me like that when he's lying? Eighteen years of friendship and he won't tell me the truth.' He thought.  
  
Suddenly, Michael's cell phone rung and interrupted them.   
  
"Yes, no, I didn't forget, I'll be there on time.. See you" Michael said to his caller.  
  
"Who was it?"  
  
"No one."  
  
"What do you mean 'no one'? Who are you meeting with tonight?"  
  
"It was only Justin. We're working on Rage tonight, that's all."  
  
"Why did you say 'no one' if it was Justin?"  
  
"Christ Brian why are you so nuts today? I have customers to take care, I don't have time for this. We'll talk later okay?"  
  
  
  
As Brian left the store his cell phone rang, "What?" He barked into it.  
  
  
  
"It's Justin."  
  
"What the fuck do you want?"  
  
"Want to go to Babylon tonight? Ethan's busy and I don't have any plans."  
  
"You don't have plans for tonight? What about Michael?"  
  
"Michael? What about him?"  
  
"Shit! Justin, come meet me at the Liberty Diner."  
  
"When?"  
  
"Now."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I said now Justin!" He yelled  
  
Brian was furious! 'Michael Charles Novotny, I'll find out what you've been hiding from me and I'll make you pay.'  
  
  
  
part 3  
  
Brian waited impatiently for Justin at the diner, he was glad Debbie wasn't working, he needed to speak to Justin privately and didn't want her finding out that Michael had lied about his time in Portland.   
  
"Hey Brian," Justin said as he sat across from him, "Thanks for coming out with me tonight. Ethan is busy and I didn't feel like sitting alone in the apartment."  
  
"I don't care about you and Ethan, I just want you to shut up and listen to me."  
  
"What's wrong with you? You sounded so angry on the phone." Justin asked, surprised at Brian's tone.  
  
"I saw Michael earlier, he said he was working on Rage with you tonight."  
  
Justin started to laugh, "Michael lied to you? I don't believe it, after all this time if finally happened"  
  
  
  
"Shut the fuck up." Brian snapped.  
  
"I see, Mr. Kinney is jealous because Michael has a life that doesn't include him?"  
  
  
  
"I don't do jealous."  
  
"Then why are you looking at me like that? You're angry at Michael, not me, he's the one who lied."  
  
"That's not it, he's been keeping something big from me and I'm worried about him. I need to find out if he's in trouble." Brian sounded so sincere, so worried that he knew it would work. He wasn't about to tell Justin the truth.   
  
"You think Michael's in some kind of trouble?" Justin asked nervously. "What can I do to help?"   
  
Brian smiled inwardly, Justin fell for it. "Help me find out what's going on and then confront him about it."  
  
"Confront him?"  
  
"He's been keeping a secret from me and I want to know why."  
  
"Ok don't explain.. you 're.."  
  
"I don't do jea.."  
  
"Jealous ..I know." Justin whispered. But Justin knew better. When it came to Michael, Brian always said one thing but meant another.  
  
"So, what can we do?"  
  
"He'll be done work in an hour. We'll follow him and see what he's up too."  
  
"You want to spy on Michael?"  
  
"It's not spying." Brian stated.  
  
"Forget it, I'm not spending the night following Michael around." Justin decided.  
  
Brian and Justin sat in the jeep, outside of Michael's apartment waiting for him to get home from the store.  
  
"This is *so* boring!" Justin complained, "You know when he gets here he might see the jeep. He's not stupid Brian, he'll know it's you."  
  
"It's not a problem, he thinks I'm at Woody's."  
  
"Whatever. If you say so. So what is with you? I know you're protective of Michael but I think you're worrying about him over nothing. He probably has a date with someone and just didn't want to tell you about it."  
  
"Shhh! Lower your head." Brian said quickly as Michael arrived home finally and went into his building.  
  
"Cool, he didn't see us. And Michael always tells me when he has a date."  
  
"Things change."  
  
"We're best friends, that's never going to change."  
  
Justin rolled his eyes, "Can I at least put on the radio while we sit here?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Your really shitty company tonight, I should have stayed home alone and waited for Ethan to get back." Justin was sad, and a bit confused. He sometimes thought he was still in love with Brian, but he loved Ethan and wanted things to work out between them.  
  
"So Brian, did you try the new club in town? I'm sure you did!"  
  
"What club?"  
  
"The Black Hole."  
  
Brian's heart jumped at hearing the name.  
  
"How was it?" Justin continued, "I heard you can book a room for one hour and fuck some anonymous guy in the dark. You can't see who it is and you don't speak to each other. I'm sure you've been there."  
  
"Have you?"  
  
  
  
"Of course not, Ethan's not like you, he'd kill me if I did something like that. So, how was it Brian?"  
  
  
  
Brian smirked, "Interesting."  
  
"You really enjoyed it didn't you? Pervert!"  
  
"Fuck off." Brian had been to the club. It was really exciting, fucking a guy that you can't see or speak too. He had never done that before, completely anonymous sex, and it had been amazing. The sex was great, he felt like he had been in heaven and hell at the same time. The stranger's skin was soft, his kisses were moist and then he heard his trick's voice, a voice he knew well.  
  
"That was amazing. I never experienced anything like that before. If you want, come back tomorrow at the same time, in this room...I'll be here too."   
  
Michael left the darkened room and Brian was alone. He stayed on the blackness, unsure of what to do. He had just fucked his best friend, without knowing he was doing so. And it had been an amazing encounter. He tried not to panic that night as he tossed and turned in bed. His thoughts kept returning to his time with Michael and everything they had done together. Damnit why had Mikey spoken? Why did he break the rules of the club? His words kept repeating themselves in Brian's head all night. 'He'll be there, waiting for me. No, not me...the stranger.'  
  
The truth was, now that he knew Michael in that way, he wanted more. He wanted to feel Mikey pressed against him again, and again, and again. The thought of Michael with anyone else made him sick. So he had made a choice, he would return to the club the next night, and the night after that. Same room. Same time.  
  
Brian never revealed himself to Michael, he kept that secret for himself. But it was becoming more and more difficult not to scream Michael's name when they made love. And it was making love, the first time was just a fuck, but it was different after that. And it just kept getting better. Michael asked him to return and they agreed to meet after the weekend.   
  
The wait was killing him, he just wanted Monday to come so he could be with Michael again. This was perfect, he was having the most amazing sex and still had his best friend by his side.   
  
Then it all went to hell, when he discovered David was back in town.  
  
He hated knowing that Michael had lied to him, he hated David for coming back, and he especially hated that Michael was probably meeting with David tonight.  
  
Justin kept his eye out for Michael, silently watching and feeling lonely while Brian's thoughts were elsewhere.   
  
"Brian look! Michael's getting a cab."  
  
"Okay, we're gonna follow him."  
  
Eventually the cab pulled up in front of a bar and Michael got out, he was looking very hot.  
  
"Woah! Look at that Brian! Michael is looking really hot tonight, I've never seen him dress like that..look at his ass, it's..."  
  
"Shut the fuck up." Brian snapped.  
  
"He doesn't look upset Brian. I'm sure he's just meeting a date here, he's not in any danger."  
  
Brian watched closely, was he on a date? Was it with David? He didn't know what he'd do if it was.  
  
Suddenly, they saw someone approach Michael and he smiled brightly in return. Brian and Justin were speechless, Michael's date was Ethan.  
  
Ethan!?  
  
"I don't believe it!" Brian yelled in shock, "Your boyfriend seems really busy tonight." Brian was furious, Ethan, the little shit who took Justin from him was now stealing Mikey? Granted, Brian had no regrets about his split from Justin but Mikey? This was worse than David trying to get him back.  
  
Despite his own shock, Justin tried to calm Brian down. "Stop yelling. Your jumping to conclusions, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for all of this. Ethan would never cheat on me with Michael."  
  
"That's right," Brian replied sarcastically, "He doesn't steal boyfriends."  
  
"He didn't steal me from you Brian, I left. It was my decision."  
  
"How can you defend him when he's betraying you like this?"  
  
"He is not betraying me! I trust Ethan, and I'll ask him what all this is about tonight when he gets home." Justin said calmly.  
  
"Fuck that! I want answers and I want them now!" Brian moved to get out of the jeep but Justin stopped him.  
  
"No, you stay here Brian. You're too angry and are going to cause a scene. I'm involved in this too, I say we just wait and see what happens when they leave here."  
  
"Shit." Brian mumbled as he agreed to wait in the jeep.  
  
Justin was upset as well, he hadn't asked Ethan about his plans for the night but Ethan hadn't offered the information to him either. He felt an ache in his chest at the thought of losing his boyfriend.  
  
  
  
One long and hellish hour later a very nervous and edgy Brian and Justin saw Michael and Ethan emerge from the bar.  
  
"Okay, there they are." Justin said.  
  
Michael and Ethan were laughing together as they exited the bar, Brian saw red while witnessing the display. And Justin's stomach knotted up when Michael kissed Ethan quickly on the lips before the two men went their separate ways.  
  
Brian freaked out, "That little shit! I'll kill him!"  
  
"It wasn't a real kiss Brian, it was only a friendly good bye kiss." Justin said hoping to convince Brian, and himself.   
  
"Bullshit. Who kisses their "friends" like that?"  
  
"You do. You've always kissed Michael like that."  
  
"No, that's different. Mikey's been my best friend since we were 14."  
  
"Oh sure, best friends, I forgot.. sorry. That explains all the kisses naturally." Came Justin's sarcastic reply.  
  
"And what does that mean?"  
  
"Nothing, just forget it. I'm not in the mood to argue with you about this."  
  
Just then both Brian and Justin's cell phone's rang at the same time.  
  
Brian picked up, "What?" he snapped.  
  
"Hello?" Asked Justin.  
  
"Mikey?"  
  
"Ethan."  
  
They exchanged looks.   
  
"I'm at Babylon now, with Justin. He's looking pretty hot tonight too." Brian said to Michael in a silky voice, purposely trying to upset his friend.  
  
"I'm at Babylon," Justin answered, "I forgot how much fun it is here."  
  
"Yes, huh? No, it's.. there's no music because I'm outside. And now I'm going back inside." Brian said as he reached over and turned his radio on so Michael could hear. "Good music tonight too!" Brian said smugly.  
  
Justin snickered at Brian's actions. "Ya, great music tonight!" He said to Ethan, "Huh? What? You? No...it's okay, I'll see you later."  
  
"What? Now? No, no problem," Brian replied to Michael, "See ya."  
  
They each hung up their phones and turned towards one another.  
  
"Mikey will be at Babylon in 30 minutes."  
  
"So will Ethan."  
  
"Shit, we aren't dressed for Babylon and don't have time to change."  
  
"We look like shit." Justin said worriedly, "We never dress like this for Babylon, they'll know something is up."  
  
"It doesn't matter, we have to be there before they show up."  
  
Twenty minutes later they were on the dance floor of Babylon. Brian got a bottle of water and dumped it over his head, wetting down his shirt and Justin followed his example by doing the same.  
  
"I hate this Brian, I feel like I'm lying and I don't like it."  
  
"Shut up and dance with me. Mikey just walked in."  
  
Brian pretended he didn't see Michael as he approached. "Hey Bri, Justin." Brian wasn't about to let the opportunity pass to confront Michael about his real plans for the night.  
  
"So Mikey, I was pretty surprised to find Justin *here*. I thought you two were working on Rage together?"  
  
"Um, ya, Brian I'm sorry. I lied and I'm sorry. I need to talk to you in private and explain."  
  
Relief flooded Brian, Michael was finally going to tell him what was going on. "All right, let's go."  
  
  
  
They moved to a corner in the club so they could talk, "Okay, I'm listening." Brian prompted.  
  
"It wasn't Justin that called me earlier today. I lied because I didn't want you to be mad, you were already upset and, so, I'm sorry."  
  
"Then who was the mystery caller?" Brian asked innocently.  
  
"It was David."  
  
"David??"   
  
"Yes, I met with him earlier in a bar, to talk."  
  
Brian's anger grew, Mikey was lying again! He was there, he knew that Michael had seen Ethan not David.   
  
"David wants me back even though I told him we were together. I need your help, please, pretend to be my boyfriend?"  
  
Brian didn't answer, "So you met with David?"  
  
"You're angry."  
  
"You're damn right I'm angry!" Brian looked at this man in front of him as if he were a stranger, this was not his Mikey.  
  
"I'm so sorry." Michael said sadly.  
  
'I'm going to find out what's going on, and you'll regret this Mikey.' Brian thought to himself.  
  
"Oh my god!"  
  
"What is it Mikey? What's wrong?"  
  
"David's here!"  
  
Brian turned and found David standing by the bar, watching them and smiling. This was a nightmare. First Ethan, now David and before Brian could finish his thought Michael grabbed him and kissed him deeply. As much as he longed to feel Michael's lips against his again, he was too upset to play into the kiss and pulled away.  
  
"What are you doing Mikey?"  
  
"David's watching, I had to do it."  
  
"Oh. David, yeah."  
  
"What's wrong with you Brian? You don't want David and I to get back together do you?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Please, just play along with me."  
  
"If you don't want the doc, say so. You're a big boy and don't need to lie. I'm not going to be a part of this." Brian walked away from Michael, determined to drown his anger and hurt by getting high.  
  
'Son of a bitch.' Brian thought as he ran into a smiling Ethan at the bar.  
  
"Hey Brian, where's Justin?"  
  
"Not here." Brian replied coldly as he sipped his drink.  
  
"Who is that guy dancing with Michael? He's really hot." Ethan asked, sounding upset.  
  
"Who?" Brian said as he turned around and spotted Michael on the dance floor, with David. They were dancing close, provocatively rubbing against each other to the music.  
  
"I can't handle this." Brian whispered.   
  
"You know him?" Ethan asked in concern.  
  
  
  
"Too well. That's Mikey's ex."  
  
  
  
"Oh! Well, he is old but that's no problem. The young are more attractive."  
  
"What does that mean?"  
  
"What does what mean?" Ethan turned and spotted Justin, "There's Justin, I'm off. Later Brian." He said as he left Brian alone at the bar.  
  
Brian breathed deeply, trying to calm down. 'I got rid of the doc once and I'll do it again. And then I'll eliminate Ethan. I can have everything I want, the way I want it.' He thought.  
  
Brian walked onto the dance floor, approached Mikey and David and separated them. Michael looked up at him in shock.  
  
"Sorry doc, but Mikey is mine. Remember?"  
  
"It's up to you Michael." David said.  
  
"He is my boyfriend." Michael answered. David backed off and Brian grabbed Michael and began to dance with him.  
  
"So what were you doing with the doc?"  
  
"Just dancing."  
  
"Give me a break. I saw you, you were practically humping on the dance floor."  
  
"What? No, that was just dancing. It didn't mean anything more. Thank you, for pretending to be my boyfriend. It means a lot, I think he finally understands that it is over between us."  
  
"I sure as hell hope so."  
  
"I love you Brian."  
  
"Me too."  
  
Michael beamed up at him and Brian became lost in that bright smile. He hadn't forgotten that Michael had been lying to him though. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Ethan and Justin talking, and wondered what was being said.  
  
"I'm sorry for hurting you Justin, and for making you doubt me. Your trust means everything and I love you."  
  
"I love you too Ethan."  
  
"Will you help us? Now that you know Michael's secret."  
  
Justin laughed, "Of course I will! This is going to be great. Now that I know what's going on, I'm finding all of this really funny. I admit, it's fun seeing Brian squirm like this. Tomorrow is going to be a very long day for our Mr Kinney!" Justin said with a laugh.  
  
Brian continued to watch Justin and Ethan as they talked, something was definitely up. Brian heard Emmett's shriek before he saw him. "Hi! Thank god everyone is here! Ted and I just walked in..."  
  
"Hey Michael hi Brian." Ted said interrupting Emmett.  
  
"David's here!" Emmett continued right over Ted, "The ex Prince Charming is here at Babylon! Did you know?"  
  
Brian rolled his eyes, "Yes, we know he's here." He said angrily.  
  
Ted smiled, "Heh. Seems like our Mr. Kinney is in a bad mood. I don't understand why, David seems nice enough."  
  
"Fuck off Ted." Brian shot back. Ted could only smirk.  
  
Emmett wrapped an arm around Michael's shoulder, "Sweetie, are you okay?"  
  
"Yes, I'm fine. I saw David earlier, we talked, he wants me back."  
  
"Oh my god."  
  
"What good news!" Ted said cheerfully, smirking at Brian.  
  
"So what are you going to do about it honey?" Emmett asked.  
  
"Don't worry, I said no. He's persistant though, he's not going to give up easily. I told him that Brian and I were now a couple. So, Brian's pretending we're boyfriends. If David asks any questions about us, you have to confirm that we are a couple. Ok?"  
  
"Of course we will Michael, no problem." Emmett said and kissed his cheek.  
  
"It's too bad about you and David, but ya, I'll do it too."  
  
"Shut up Ted." Brian snapped. He needed to talk with Justin, he wanted to know what he found out but Justin was dancing with Ethan and it would look suspicious if he went over there and dragged him away.  
  
Emmett started dancing, holding his drink in his hand. Turning to Michael he said, "Well Michael, you said you went to that new club 'The Black Hole', I want details honey! Tell us, how was it?"  
  
Brian's heart jumped again at the mention of the club, just like it had earlier with Justin. His curiousity was stronger than his fear though, he wanted to know what Michael had to say about it. Taking Michael in his arms, he smiled and said, "I didn't know you went to that club Mikey. Details, now." He asked teasingly.  
  
  
  
Ted spoke up before Michael was able to answer, "Brian I thought you went to the club already, weren't you one of the first customers?"  
  
Right then and there, Brian decided he hated Ted. But he knew how to handle the situation, looking Ted directly in the eye he answered in a voice dripping with sarcasm, "Sorry to disappoint you Theodore, but that's not the type of place I'd go too. I don't like the idea of not being able to pick who I fuck. Shit, you could fuck a monster without knowing it! Even worse, I could fuck *you* and not know it! Now that would be a nightmare.   
  
Ted was furious. Michael remained quiet. Emmett was trying to think of a way to calm the situation down but Michael spoke up.  
  
"Yes I know, I'm a fool, I'm pathetic." He ground out angrily and glared at Brian.  
  
"I didn't say that Mikey." Brian said, realising that his words had hurt Michael.  
  
"Yes you did."  
  
Emmett desperately tried to distract them, "So tell us Michael. Brian's wrong, the club is very popular. And extremely hot! Tell me about it."  
  
"Okay, okay!" Michael said laughing, "It was fantastic. Terrific."  
  
Brian smiled inwardly, only he knew Michael was talking about him.  
  
"The first time I went was on Wednesday, it was so incredible. The room is pitch black, you're totally naked and you can sense someone else in the room. You can hear him, you can feel him. And that first touch...amazing. Well, of course, it was strange because you can't see anything and you can't talk. So it was difficult at first...."  
  
"Difficult?" Ted and Emmett asked in unison.  
  
"Like I said, it's in the dark, I put my finger in his eye accidently and he thought my arm was my leg. But, i was just in the beginning."  
  
"Gotcha. I understand sweetie." Emmett said.  
  
Brian chuckled, Mikey's finger had hurt like hell. It wasn't perfect, but it had been funny.  
  
"Continue please." Ted said eagerly.  
  
  
  
"It was unreal at first. I felt his body against mine, every touch was like a burn. And the way he kissed, incredible. I was in heaven and hell at the same time. I have never felt like that before. It was a great experience, really great."  
  
Brian was so happy knowing his he had effected Michael.  
  
"You were really lucky to find such a great fuck." Ted said.  
  
"He was. He really was. It was like my body and his were made for each other, that's why I...I...I broke the rules."  
  
"You spoke to him?" Ted asked.  
  
"What do you mean you broke the rules?" Emmett asked.  
  
Michael suddenly felt shy, "How could I not want to see him again? This guy was like my fuck soulmate! I wanted to feel him again, so I spoke to him. I said that it was amazing and if he felt the same way, I'd be there at the same time, same room tomorrow."  
  
"And what did he say?" Emmett asked with great curiousity.  
  
"Nothing. I left quickly.  
  
Brian said nothing, now he knew why his best friend and broken the rule and practically given Brian a heart attack.  
  
"Did he come back?" Emmett asked.  
  
"Ya, he came back."  
  
"How did you know it was him? He spoke to you?"  
  
"No, he didn't speak but...I'm sure it was him." Michael said brightly, "And I'm meeting him again on Monday night. Same time, same room."  
  
"Oh my god!" Emmett screamed, "This is so incredible!"  
  
"I'm happy for you Mikey." Brian said nonchalantly.  
  
"And was the second time better than the first? It was better right?"  
  
"Tell us!" Emmett demanded.  
  
"Not now guys," Michael answered, "next time maybe."  
  
"Oh no!" Emmett said, taking Michael by the arm, "I want you to tell me now! We're going to dance and you're going to spill!"  
  
Emmett and Michael began dancing, Ted joined them, he wanted to know more too.  
  
****  
  
As Brian watched his friends dance, Justin approached him and said in his ear, "I need to talk to you. It's about Michael and Ethan."  
  
"Where is Ethan?"  
  
"He's outside, on the phone with a friend."  
  
"You asked him about his date with Mikey?"  
  
"Yes, and I was right, it wasn't a dare. When I asked him where he was, he was honest and came right out and said, 'I was with Michael.'"  
  
"And you believed him?"  
  
"Of course I did, because he told me something very interesting about their talk..."  
  
"What was it?"  
  
"I can't tell you that. I promised I'd help Ethan and Michael."  
  
"With what?" Brian asked nervously.  
  
Justin tried not to smile, he loved that Brian was going crazy over this. "I told you I can't say. There's something that Ethan and Michael didn't know...and...now they do. Shit, I'm not sure what to say."  
  
"Goddamnit Justin tell me!"   
  
"If you're going to be mean you can just forget about this completely."  
  
"Justin...please!"   
  
"I know Michael's secret!"  
  
"What? You know about David and Portland?"  
  
"Portland? What? No, it's not that. Why would you mention Portland?"  
  
Brian was lost, Mikey had *another* secret from him? "Tell me what his secret is."  
  
"Ethan will kill me if I tell you, and so will Michael."  
  
"I won't say anything, I promise." Brian said seriously.  
  
"You better say nothing because if you do it'll cause nothing but trouble. And Michael will be really pissed at you Brian."  
  
"What do you mean? Why?"  
  
"Okay, I'll tell you only because I want to see your face when you hear this." Justin said, smiling like a cat who had trapped it's mouse. "Well, Michael met Ethan because he needed a favor. I was so surprised when Ethan told me this story, but...."  
  
"Enough of the mysterious talk Justin."  
  
Justin watched his face closely for a reaction, "Ethan told me that Michael went to this new club called 'The Black Hole'."  
  
"That's no secret. Everyone knows, he just told us while you were dancing."  
  
"No, that isn't the secret." Justin said patiently, "He's really obsessed with the guy he met in room 212 that night and Michael wants to find out who he is. So he asked Ethan to help."  
  
Brian's heart jumped, Michael was going to try and discover his identity? Brian stayed calm and asked cooly, "Why Ethan?"  
  
  
  
"Ethan and I have a friend who works there. He said he would be able to find out the identity of Michael's mystery man for us."  
  
Brian felt his hear stop, he was in shock. If Ethan discovers that it was him and told Michael then it would be the end...  
  
"And you know what? I loved watching the look on your face when I told you that! I knew it! Ethan told me Michael's story and I started thinking about the look in your face earlier tonight while we were in the jeep. That's when I realised that Michael's stranger was you! I knew it!" Justin said happily. "I'm right aren't I? You and Mikey fucked and you only know because he talked. Ethan is outside right now on the phone with his friend..."  
  
Brian panicked, "You have one hell of an imagination kid. But it wasn't me. I was there but my trick never spoke to me, so sorry to disappoint you."  
  
"I don't believe you Brian."  
  
"You're wrong." Brian simply stated. "I don't care about Michael's trick and I don't understand why Ethan and Michael would kill you for telling me, it's no big deal."  
  
"Michael insisted that it stay a secret. He said that you'd judge him and tell him he was 'pathetic'. He's probably right, I understand why he doesn't want to talk about it. Poor Michael, I wonder how he'll react when he learns that his trick was you?" Justin said and smiled widely.  
  
"I said it wasn't me!"  
  
"It's okay if it was you. Now promise me that you won't interfere. Ethan asked me to help, he wants to meet with this guy when we learn his identity and convince him to meet Michael. So remember, don't say anything. I only told you this because I thought it was you, I wanted to warn you. Please..."  
  
"I won't say anything."  
  
"Thanks. It's too bad that it wasn't you with Michael. But I guess it's better in a way, imagine how Michael would feel if it was?"  
  
Brian was in a panic, when Mikey knew the truth, he'd kill him.  
  
Brian began to panic and his heart began to pound rapidly. Any minute Mikey would discover the truth, he'd be furious. Or even worse, Brian could lose him forever.   
  
'I have no choice, I have to tell him how I feel for him before he learns the truth.' He thought.  
  
Brian approached Michael who was still dancing with Ted and Emmett, "I have to talk to you Mikey, it's important." He said as he took hold of his friends arm and pulled him away from the dance floor.  
  
"Okay, let's go." Michael agreed without hesitation, hearing the serious tone of Brian's voice.  
  
Brian never imagined confessing his love to Michael in Babylon of all places, he wasn't prepared for this. But he had too, the fear of losing Mikey forced him into it. They found a secluded corner of the club where not many people occupied. Brian's heart pounded in his ears, he tried to control his breathing and calm down. Michael stood there calmly, watching.  
  
"You look upset Brian." Michael said a little worriedly.  
  
Taking Michael's warm hand in his, Brian took a deep breath and said, "Michael..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I love you." He said softly.  
  
Michael smiled brightly at him, "I know. And I love you too. Come on, let's dance."  
  
Brian realised that Michael didn't understand his meaning. Brian wasn't surprised, he had told Michael this before in different ways so there was no reason why the words would be any more significant now. He had to make Michael understand. He said and let out a breath he didn't realise he had been holding.   
  
"No, Mikey, you didn't understand...I am in love with you."   
  
  
  
Michael stared at him for a moment than smiled, leaning up he spoke into Brian's ear, "You're a very good actor Brian. And you have great eyes, I didn't see David standing over there, thanks for that."  
  
Brian was shocked to see that David was in fact standing right by them, watching closely. Michael kissed Brian quickly on the lips, "I'm in love with you too, you know that!" He said loudly, then turned and smiled at David.  
  
Brian felt like he had been kicked in the stomach, how could he make Mikey see? He opened his mouth to speak just as Michael's cell phone rang.  
  
"Hello? Oh you found me! So tell me...no I'm so nervous tell me over the phone."  
  
Brian's heart broke as he listened to Michael's words, he was scared to death. Any second Mikey would turn accusing eyes at him, he contemplated grabbing the phone away from Michael and throwing it to the ground.  
  
"Oh okay, thank you very much! That's great news, thanks again Ethan." He smiled brightly at Brian after he closed the phone.  
  
"What is it?" Brian asked in shock, "What's the good news?"  
  
  
  
"Hey Brian, dance with me?" Justin asked, appearing out of nowhere and stopping Michael from giving Brian the news. He grabbed Brian's arm and pulled him onto the dance floor.  
  
"What?" Brian asked, a bit confused.  
  
"I cam to apologise. I'm sorry, I was wrong. Ethan discovered who the mysterious trick was with Michael. I know it wasn't you."  
  
"Who is he then?" Brian asked incredulously.  
  
"His name is Axel and the good news is he was here in Babylon tonight! I talked to him and he's agreed to meet with Michael tomorrow."  
  
"Where is he?  
  
"He left already."  
  
"You know, I'm a little disappointed it wasn't you. But Michael is very lucky, this guy is so hot.. and young! He's 22 years old and has beautiful blue eyes."  
  
"If you say so." Brian replied, trying to sound bored. He wasn't prepared for this. His secret was safe but now he had to deal with this Axel who was pretending to be the mystery man from the club. He needed to think of what to do next. "You sure this is the right guy?"  
  
"Ya, why?"  
  
"I thought the club's members were anonymous, I just want to make sure the same thing never happens to me."  
  
"Oh, well, you're right it is anonymous. Turns out he paid using a credit card, that's how we tracked him down."  
  
"They take credit?" He asked curiously, he had paid in cash everytime so no one would be able to discover he was going there.   
  
"Apparently it was an exception for this guy."  
  
What was he going to do? Tomorrow Michael would meet Axel and if he didn't see that Axel wasn't his mystery man.. then Brian could say good bye to his secret sex life with his best friend. And the thought of Mikey with another man made him crazy.  
  
"I'm really happy for Michael, Axel seems really cool."  
  
Brian stopped dancing abruptly, "Your boyfriend's waiting for you." He said dismissively.  
  
  
  
***  
  
After Justin left to join Ethan, Michael came up beside Brian. "You seem really upset about something."  
  
"No, I'm just tired. It's been a long day."  
  
"Want to go home then?"  
  
"Definitely."  
  
Michael raised his eyebrow in surprise, "Wow. You must be tired if you're not even going to make a trip to the backroom before bed." When Brian didn't reply Michael asked, "I think I'll head home too, drive me?"  
  
"Okay, let's go." Brian said and they left Babylon together.  
  
***  
  
"So? What did he say?" Ethan asked enthusiastically when Justin found him.  
  
"You should have seen the look on his face, it was hilarious. I'm right, I know I am...he is the mystery man."  
  
"You're just evil Justin".  
  
"My plan will work, trust me."  
  
"Brian will be pissed off when he finds out. And so will Michael."  
  
"The plan is foolproof and I am a genius, don't worry about it. And leave Michael to me."  
  
"I know you think you can handle it, but you're playing with fire. Imagine how Michael will react when he finds out he was fucking Brian all this time!"  
  
"Ethan, stop worrying. It's perfect."  
  
"I never told you Michael's real secret...." Ethan began to say  
  
  
  
Flashback  
  
After Ethan bumped into Brian, he found a very upset Justin waiting for him in Babylon.  
  
"Hi."  
  
"Ethan, hey. Surprised to see you here. I thought you'd be working through the night."  
  
"No...."  
  
What were you doing before that kept you so busy?"  
  
"Nothing important."  
  
"I know Ethan. I know you were with Mikey."  
  
"What? How?"  
  
"Because I was with a psycho who forced me to spy on Michael tonight. I was very surprised to see you with him."  
  
"What psycho? Who?"  
  
"Brian. He was jealous because he found out Michael's been lying to him. He wanted to discover the truth and he asked for my help."  
  
"Oh, well, yes I was with Michael tonight but not on a date."  
  
"I know." Justin explained quickly, "I mean, I trust you but I was just a little worried."  
  
Ethan smiled, "You know I love you. I'd never cheat."  
  
"So why were you with him?"  
  
"It's a secret..."  
  
"Oh come on! Tell me what's going on."  
  
"I can't talk about it here."  
  
"You can trust me, I won't say anything, I promise."  
  
"I know. Ok, last week I discovered that Michael is a friend of my aunt who lives in New York. I came across a picture of Michael in a family photo album, she told me that Michael was an old friend and he had stayed with her for a few weeks in her apartment."  
  
"What? When did Michael live in New York? He's only left Pittsburgh once and that was to live with David in Portland." That's when the realization hit Justin, "Oh my god! He was never with David was he? He went to New York!" He said shocked.  
  
"That's why I was talking to Michael. I didn't know anything about David or Portland, I just wanted to talk to him about my aunt. That's all."  
  
"What did he say?"  
  
"He said that no one here in Pittsburgh knew about his life in New York and that he wanted to keep it that way. It's a secret, and here I am telling you this secret. I feel guilty, I've betrayed him."  
  
"I promise I won't say anything."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"So why does he want to keep it a secret? What's the big deal?"  
  
"I don't know. He didn't say much about his time there, just like my aunt."  
  
"Oooooh, this is so mysterious. Michael has a secret life."  
  
"Ya. He changed the subject rather quickly and started telling me about this club, 'The Black Hole.' He was really happy, he told me he had broken the rules and spoke to his trick. Can you believe that? He said he had too, it was an amazing experience."  
  
Justin became suspicious, "Tell me everything he said."  
  
After Ethan had relayed his and Michael's conversation to Justin, he said, "I have a really strange feeling about this Ethan. I think Michael's mystery trick was Brian."  
  
"Why would you say that?"  
  
"I have my reasons. And it's going to be fun playing with him about this..."  
  
"I hate it when you get that look in your eyes."  
  
"Oh please." Justin said and rolled his eyes a bit.  
  
"Before you explain all of this to me, I want to say something?"  
  
"What's that darling?"  
  
"Thanks for keeping the secret. But if someone did find out..." Ethan said with a smile.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Oh my god, you've got a really strange look on you face. Are you planning something weird?"  
  
Ethan smiled, "I'm sorry for hurting you Justin, and for making you doubt me. Your trust means everything and I love you."  
  
"I love you too Ethan."  
  
"Will you help us? Now that you know Michael's secret."  
  
Justin laughed, "Of course I will! This is going to be great. Now that I know what's going on, I'm finding all of this really funny. I admit, it's fun seeing Brian squirm like this. Tomorrow is going to be a very long day for our Mr Kinney!" Justin said with a laugh.  
  
"What are you talking about? Are you going to help me and Michael?"  
  
"Oh ya, but I have an idea...I'm going to visit Mr Kinney. I won't be long."  
  
"Okay." Ethan laughed, "I need some air, I'll be outside."  
  
End of flashback  
  
***  
  
Justin found Ethan outside of Babylon. With a wide smile on his face he exclaimed, "I have a great idea! I talked to Brian and he swears he isn't the mystery man. But I could tell he was lying, it was all over his face, it was actually pretty funny. I told him Michael wanted to discover the trick's real identity."  
  
"You said what?" Ethan yelled in shock.  
  
"And I told him that you have a friend who works at the club, and that he would be able to discover his true identity."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Oh my God, the look on Brian's face was priceless. He kept denying it but I know it's him."  
  
"Justin are you insane? If this is true it could destroy their friendship."  
  
"Nah. At worst they'll finally be honest about how they feel. Besides, I have an even better idea..."  
  
"I don't want to know!"  
  
"You remember Axel, from school?" Justin asked, ignoring his boyfriend's plea.  
  
"Ya, he wants to model."  
  
"He can help us. I'll call him, you call Michael. Tell him that you want to meet him tomorrow in the park. Say it's because, uh, tell him we found someone who has the first issue of Spiderman. I know that'll work and he'll come to the meeting definitely."  
  
"Are you crazy?"  
  
"Just do it Ethan."   
  
Ethan turned on his cell and dialed, "Hi. It's Ethan. I have good news for you, it's about the very first issue of Spiderman. We found it! The guy who is selling it can meet with you tomorrow afternoon, in the park at 3 PM."  
  
While Ethan was on the phone, Justin left to find Brian again...he had to see his reaction.  
  
  
  
"I'm scared for the sequel." Ethan thought, remembering how they got to where they were now.  
  
Justin looked at him, "Don't worry about it." He said, but then he seemed to remember something that made him look nervous.  
  
"What is it?" Ethan asked.  
  
"I just remembered what Brian said to me when I mentioned Michael had a secret."  
  
"What?"  
  
"He said something about David and Portland."  
  
"What? How could he know? That's impossible."  
  
"He didn't seem to have any details, but he has suspicions."  
  
"What are we going to do?"  
  
"Stay clam. With this mystery trick thing going on I'm sure Brian won't even being thinking about whether or not Michael was in Portland. And we have time to discover what he knows exactly."  
  
Ethan chuckled, "You're evil."  
  
"Oh! Axel will be there tomorrow, and you must do everything perfectly because Brian will be there too...as a spy I'm sure."  
  
"I must really love you to do things like this for you." Grumbled Ethan.  
  
Justin smiled, "And you won't regret it. I'm treating you tonight, anything you want, anyway you want it...all night long."  
  
Ethan smiled and took his hand and they left Babylon.  
  
As Brian and Michael left Babylon, a young man walked up to them and handed them a flyer. Michael read it and said with a wide smile, "Oh Bri! Tonight's karaoke night at Woody's. Let's go? Please?"  
  
"Ok, it could be fun." Brian relented. He wasn't tired just stressed out by everything that had happened. And who could say no to Mikey when he smiled like that? Certainly not Brian.  
  
Michael happily kissed Brian quickly and they began the walk to Woody's, neither man noticed David watching them...or follow them into the night.  
  
****  
  
"Oh my god. This guy is hot, but his voice is...how do I describe it?" Michael asked, turning his head to look at Brian who was sitting next to him at the bar.   
  
"I've definitely never heard anything like that before." Brian replied.  
  
"Want to sing a song with me?"  
  
"No way. I'm not in the mood, you're on your own....I'm too tired remember?"  
  
Michael was a little disappointed but he didn't insist further, Brian seemed to be upset about something. He was just happy to be alone with him.   
  
Brian drank his beer and watched as David entered the bar, "I can't believe it. The son of a bitch is following us!"  
  
"What?" Asked Michael.  
  
"David is here! And worse he's coming over to us." He said angrily. Brian was furious, this night was one, big nightmare.  
  
"Hi Michael" Said David.  
  
"What are you doing in here?" Asked Brian  
  
"I love karaoke, that's all." David replied cooly, "And I wanted to talk with Michael."  
  
"Sorry, but you can't."  
  
"It's not for you to choose for him is it? He's his own person. He may be your boyfriend but he isn't your property...never has been, never will be." David said, smiling smugly.  
  
  
  
Brian hated David so much. He was the first man who wanted to steal Michael from him. The first man who showed him that Mikey was not garanteed to wait around, he wanted his own life and Mikey could leave him. And now the threat was back again, Brian hated David for showing him the reality.  
  
Michael had no interest in talking to David, taking Brian's arm he said softly, "I'm sorry David, but like I said in Portland, it's over."  
  
Brian kissed Michael's neck at smiled triumphantly at David.  
  
"Okay, I understand it.. you've made it perfectly clear. But I have to wonder how you can possibly deal with Brian's sex life? He doesn't do fidelity...doesn't that bother you?"  
  
"What do you mean? I'm in love with Michael, I'd never betray him, I couldn't." Said Brian seriously.  
  
"Ya right! You're a sexual predator Brian, Michael can't trust you."  
  
  
  
Michael tried to change the subject before the matter got out of control. "So David, why did you come back to Pittsburgh?"  
  
"Business, my practiced thrived here, I didn't have such luck in Portland." David looked Michael in the eye and proclaimed, "I'm still in love with you Michael. And when there's trouble in paradise, and I'm sure there will be, I'll be here. I'll wait for you. He doesn't deserve you and someday I know you'll open your eyes and see that."   
  
As David turned to leave, Michael said, "I won't come back David. Ever."  
  
Brian was furious, David had made his little announcement and acted as if he wasn't even there.   
  
"Mikey, why don't you go and sing your song now."  
  
"Ya, alright, good idea."  
  
"I'm going to the bathroom, be back in a minute."  
  
Brian waited till Michael approached the stage and then quickly exited Woody's, catching up with the doc. "David!" He yelled once outside.  
  
David stopped and turned back to Brian. "What ?"  
  
Brian's blood turned to ice, "You know, I hated you the first time we met. And now I'm going to make one of my dreams come true, something I wanted to give you from day one."  
  
David simply sneered at Brian and then Brian violently punched him in the face, sending David to the ground.  
  
"Are you crazy?" David yelled.  
  
"Yes, I am. You didn't know that already?" Brian snapped in reply, with an odd smile on his face. "And yes, Mikey is free to choose how he lives his life. But whatever his choices are, I'll always be there, even if he leaves me. Do you want to know why? Because I'm a part of him, and it's the same for me." Brian left David and returned to Woody's in time to see Michael on stage, singing the theme song to 'Spiderman.'  
  
  
  
****  
  
Brian was in his apartment, talking to Justin on the phone. "Justin, we don't know anything about this Alex guy, we have to be extra careful...remember that kid who was strangled at dumped behind the diner?"  
  
"His name is Axel, Brian."   
  
"Whatever. We're going to follow Mikey and make sure this guy isn't a psycho, I just want to make sure Mikey's okay."  
  
"What? What do you mean by "we"? You want to spy on Michael again! Jesus Christ, Brian! "  
  
"I'll pick you tomorrow around noon." Brian said, ignoring Justin's remark. He had a strange smile on his face, then reaching for a photo from of Mikey in drag from the last Pride Parade, his smile widened.  
  
  
  
****  
  
"What did he say?" Ethan asked when Justin hung up.  
  
"Everything is going as planned. We'll be there, and Axel is going to play his role perfectly."  
  
"I hope so." Ethan said worriedly.  
  
Justin and Brian were in the park, keeping an eye out for Michael.  
  
"Look at that Brian! The lake froze overnight, it's beautiful."  
  
"I'm cold." Brian complained. "Are you sure that they are meeting here?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
After few minutes of waiting in the bitter cold, a young man arrived at the meeting place. "That's Axel." Justin said.   
  
Brian studied him, he was tall and very gorgeous. He looked like a model and he was young.  
  
"See? I told you he was hot, Michael's very lucky."  
  
Brian didn't answer, he was worried because this guy was perfect. Just then Michael arrived and he and Axel began talking, he was smiling brightly. The jealousy consumed Brian while he watched. When Axel moved closer to Michael, Brian decided he needed to intervene. "Justin, come with me...I want to talk to this guy and make sure he's al right."  
  
"What? Are you crazy? Don't do anything Brian!"  
  
Brian ignored him, "Just come with me, and then pull Mikey aside. I'll talk to this guy alone, I just want to make sure he's not going to hurt him." Before Justin could protest, Brian grabbed his arm and pulled him forward and shouted, "Oh, hey Mikey! What a coincidence you're here."  
  
Michael was surprised, "Brian? Justin?"  
  
"Hi Michael." Said Justin.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Asked Michael.  
  
"Just out for a walk, I bumped into Brian by coincidence too."  
  
Brian moved closer to his best friend and looked at Axel and said, "Why didn't you tell me you had a date Mikey? He's hot."  
  
"Actually, he is not..."  
  
"Michael?" Justin said, interrupting him.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I need to talk to you in private.. now."  
  
"Oh, ok.. "  
  
"Don't worry Michael, I'll keep an eye on your guy." Brian said smoothly.  
  
An exasperated Justin pulled Michael away so they could talk.   
  
Brian turned to Axel, they smiled at each other. "It's nice to see Mikey out on a date, you seem nice enough. I'm happy for him."  
  
"Thanks, it's our first date in fact."  
  
"Really? He told me about 'The Black Hole' and your night in room 212. Don't worry about it, I'm his best friend since we were 14, he tells me everything."  
  
"Room 212? I was in room 221."  
  
"Oh no, don't tell me it was a mistake." Brian said in mock disappointment. "Mikey wanted to meet his fuck so badly. Well, it's too bad but I'm sure he'll understand."  
  
"Hey it's not a problem. I mean, he is very hot. Your friend is my type, he's really cute, I want him."  
  
Brian was upset about this turn of events, but he had another idea, time for plan B.  
  
"Hmm, he is hot but, if you have sex with him...I mean, Mikey is still so insecure. But the doctor's said there was nothing to worry about after the operation."  
  
"What operation?"  
  
"You see....no, forget it."  
  
"No, tell me what happen to him." Axel urged.  
  
"What happened to 'her' is more like it." Brian said.   
  
"What do you mean??"  
  
"Three months ago Micheal's real name was Michelle, he was a woman.. but she always wanted to become a man and her dream came true 3 months ago."  
  
"Are you kidding??"  
  
"No, hormonal treatments and an operation made this miracle happen. Michelle became this hot guy, i'm so proud of her.. uh.. him."  
  
Axel could only stare in shock.  
  
"But my Mikey is so insecure with his new change that he went in 'The Black Hole' because you can make love in the dark. It's easier because she, sorry, he is afraid that man could see the differences...and that's why he was so happy to meet you. He thought that since you already had sex with him, you wouldn't care."  
  
Axel felt his face pale but inside he was amazed at Brian's imagination. "I don't believe it." He said.  
  
"You want to see Mikey when she was Michelle?" Brian reached into his pocket and pulled out the picture of Michael in drag from the Pride parade. "She was really cute wasn't she?" Brian asked brightly. Things were going perfectly, he thought.  
  
"Yes...she was...but...I don't know if I could..."  
  
"Oh," Brian said sadly, "I understand. You know, you must be honest with her, sorry I'm not used to it yet.. with HIM. You're scared. Just him about the mistake with the rooms, he won't be hurt."  
  
"Ya, ya I will. Thanks for telling me, I wasn't prepared for this."  
  
"You don't have to apologize." Brian said softly.   
  
They stood in silence for a few minutes, then Justin and Michael returned. "Thanks Justin, that's a great idea for the next issue of Rage." Michael was saying. Brian was grinning slyly and Justin watched him with curiousity.   
  
"Michael," Axel said, "I wanted to explain something...it's important...I should have told you before but, Justin got the number wrong.   
  
Michael was very disappointed, he really wanted that first issue of Spiderman. "Oh no? I'm sorry to hear that."  
  
"I'm sorry too, it was just a mistake."  
  
"I understand, thanks" said Michael sadly and Axel left the three friends alone.  
  
Brian kissed him softly on the lips and said, "Forget about it. We'll spend the afternoon together and I'll make you forget all about it. We'll go shopping, I'll buy you anything you want...just like in 'Pretty Woman' but instead it'll be 'Pretty Man.' Okay?" He said and kissed Michael again and smiled.  
  
Michael laughed, "Okay, thanks."  
  
"Well, I've gotta go. Ethan's waiting for me." Justin said and smiled at Michael. Glaring at Brian he turned to leave.   
  
"Bye bye Justin." Brian said smugly and smiled.  
  
****  
  
They spent the afternoon together, and Michael forgot his troubles. Brian felt relaxed for the first time that week, but as he watched Michael he couldn't help but think about everything that was happening. First, David was back. Second, Mikey was keeping a secret about his non life in Portland and third, every gay man now wanted to steal him away. He couldn't fight every guy off like he did with Axel, it was just too much for even him. It was too stressful and he didn't want to feel that fear he had one day when Mikey was with Ben, one day he came to Brian's loft....  
  
  
  
Flashback  
  
"Hey, it's late Mikey what are you doing here?" Brian asked after sliding his door opened.  
  
"I know, but I need to talk to you." Michael said with a serious look on his face.  
  
Michael sat and Brian got some beers for them. His heart sank, there was something about the tone of Michael's voice and the look on his face....  
  
"Ben proposed to me at dinner." He said before Brian could even sit down.  
  
Brian felt his heart stop as he sat down, he felt like everything was going to crash down around him.  
  
After a few moments of silence, Michael quietly said, "I said no. It's over between us."  
  
Brian was stunned, relieved but speechless.  
  
Michael got up and said, "I just wanted you to know. Don't worry about me, I'll be alright." He smiled slightly at Brian and left the loft. And even though Brian could hear the strength in Mikey's voice, he still felt pain for his friend.  
  
End of flashback  
  
  
  
"Someday," Brian thought, "someone could propose to him and he might say 'yes'." And knowing this was unbearable for Brian. "Maybe it's time," he thought, "I tell him the truth. It's time for us to be lovers....finally."  
  
Song No One Needs To Know  
  
Am I dreamin' or stupid?  
  
I think I've been hit by Cupid  
  
But no one needs to know right now  
  
I met a dark and handsome man  
  
And I've been busy makin' big plans  
  
But no one needs to know right now  
  
I got my heart set, my feet wet  
  
And he don't even know it yet  
  
But no one needs to know right now  
  
I want bells to ring, a choir to sing  
  
the guests the cake the car  
  
the whole darn thing  
  
But no one needs to know right now  
  
I'll tell him someday some way somehow  
  
But I'm gonna keep it a secret for now  
  
  
  
Carl helped Debbie into her coat as they got ready to leave for their date, "I heard the lake in the park froze overnight. It sounds beautiful, would you like to see it Debbie?" He asked.  
  
"That's a great idea! Let's go."  
  
*****  
  
  
  
"I think the next issue of Rage will be the last one." Michael said as they walked around Pittsburgh.  
  
"What?" said Brian in surprise.  
  
"Justin's becoming very busy, he doesn't really have the time anymore. Plus, I have another idea for a new comic. I asked my editor to find me an illustrator and he said he would."  
  
"Wow, the end of Rage." Brian whispered, "How will it end?"  
  
"That's a secret."  
  
"Fuck secrets! I am Rage, so tell me!"   
  
"All right mister Rage." Michael joked. "I'm really proud of my story..."  
  
"Tell me about it Mikey, I can't wait."  
  
"Okay, there's a new enemy in town, he's powerful and he hates Rage. I'm going to call him 'Murky' and he wants to destroy Rage..."  
  
"Ahh, but Rage is invincible." Brian said proudly.  
  
  
  
"This new enemy wants to take the most important thing in Rage's life away. So he plans to kill JT, Rage's love. Zephyr discovers the evil plan, he knows that this Murky is very powerful...possibly even too much for Rage to handle. Zephyr wants to protect his best friend and JT, so he decides to become an ally to this bad guy. Zephyr goes to Murky and says he hates JT, all in an attempt to discover the enemy's weak points. So Zephyr starts to betray Rage, all in order to help him. At first Rage is really shocked by his friend's betrayal, but then realises that he would never betray him without reason. He trusts Zephyr completely. He asks JT to become his new partner, but is sad about Zeph's betrayal...."  
  
"Sounds good Mikey, and?" Brian asked impatiently.  
  
"It seems JT is inexperienced with his new 'job' and he is captured. Murky figures out that Zephyr has been playing him the whole time, he's really smart, and decides to kill Zephyr and JT in front of Rage."  
  
"Uh oh. What is Rage going to do?"  
  
"Well, fortunately Zephyr has discovered the weak points of Murky and knows how to weaken him, but he's not powerful enough to fight him...only Rage is. The bad guy gets Rage to come to a meeting place, when he arrives he sees JT and Zeph strapped to chairs and there's a bomb. Murky tells Rage that he has to choose between JT and Zephyr, he doesn't have enough time to save them both.   
  
Rage can't choose, the enemy is thrilled to see Rage in distress. Suddenly, Zephyr shouts to Rage how he can hurt Murky. Zephyr knows that Rage is in a dilemma, he knows the situation is critical and he knows that JT is Rage's happiness. Zephyr manages to free himself and so he decides to sacrifice himself in order to save JT. Since Rage can't choose, Zephyr will choose for him. So he kills himself and destroys the bomb in the process.  
  
Before he does it, he screams at Rage to 'Save JT' and then smiles at him, he was happy and peaceful knowing that he was sacrificing himself for his best friend's happiness. Rage is in shock but saves JT just two seconds before the destruction of the bomb. Rage and Murky begin to fight, it's not easy but thanks to Zephyr, Rage knows how to weaken him and wins the fight.  
  
Blaming himself for not being able to save Zephyr, Rage mourns and reflects for days. He's broken hearted but decides to continue the fight against evil...in honor of Zephyr's memory, his best friend. Rage realizes that Zephyr will always be there, alive in his heart and will be his best friend forever. He continues on in the fight against evil with JT by his side. The End."  
  
Brian was in shock, Zephyr was dead? "Are you crazy?" He yelled at Michael. Zephyr dying was like Mikey dying he realized, and in that moment he felt the pain and hurt that losing Michael would bring and felt angry.  
  
"What? Justin thinks it's a great ending too. Why are you so mad?"  
  
"Because Zephyr died!! Rage is nothing without him, they're the dymanic duo! I can stand it, I don't like this ending at all. It's bullshit! I don't want you to die!" Brian shouted.  
  
"Brian calm down!" Michael yelled, "It's just a comic, it's not the reality! I am not Zephyr and you're not Rage....you're just the inspiration for him. Seriously Brian, you can't fuck 100 guys in 1 night like Rage can!" Michael said with a laugh.  
  
"Yes I could, I just haven't tried it yet."  
  
"Arrogant prick." Michael replied and the two friends began to laugh together. Brian looked at Michael and smiled softly, 'It's time.' He thought.  
  
"So what are we doing now?" Michael asked.  
  
"Let's go back to the park, I'll treat ya to a hot dog."  
  
Michael agreed and they made their way there. The park was beautiful, especially with the now frozen lake. Brian knew that Michael deserved to be in a place like this when he confessed his love to him. It was romantic, it was perfect. And at this time of night, the park would be nearly empty.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
Michael and Brian admired the frozen lake together.   
  
"It's really nice." Michael said.  
  
"Yes it is." Brian whispered. His heart was out of control and when he looked down at Michael and watched him, his heart beat even faster. He took a deep breath, "Mikey...."  
  
"Yes?" Michael said and turned his face to look into Brian's eyes.  
  
"I want...." Brian's voice wavered. He was suddenly feeling insecure and scared. He panicked. He couldn't do it, after 18 years of friendship could he really risk losing it all now? 'Love is just an illusion,' he told himself, 'you can't live with it, you can't live without it. I'm stupid for believing that love can exist and be true. It's just not for me.'  
  
"What it is Brian?" Michael's heart jumped at the look in Brian's eyes, he had a strange feeling deep in his gut.  
  
"I want to walk on the lake." Brian said.  
  
"What?" Asked a surprised Michael. "You can't, it's not strong enough."  
  
Brian needed to get away, he made his way to the ice and ignored Michael's protests.   
  
"Brian! Come back here! It's too dangerous. Fuck! Brian come back here now!"  
  
Brian smiled at Michael, "There's no danger...look!"  
  
"It's not funny Brian! This is dangerous." Screamed Michael, he began to panic as Brian got further away from him.  
  
****  
  
Debbie and Carl were walking through the park on the other side of the lake when Debbie spotted Brian, "Oh my god! It's Brian! He's on the lake! Was that Michael's voice I heard?" She asked in shock.  
  
"Shit, what is he doing on there?" Horvath asked, "It's dangerous."  
  
  
  
****  
  
"Mikey you worry too much!" Brian said as he looked at Michael, "Come on over here, there's no risk!"  
  
"Are you crazy?"  
  
"Come on Mikey. Don't be afraid. You can't die from standing here, come on...if you really thinks it's so dangerous come and save me. You want me to die alone?" Brian teased. "We'll die together" He said with a laugh, completely ignorant of the real danger.  
  
****  
  
Debbie and Carl watched in horror, "He is such an idiot!" Debbie yelled, her voice filled with fear and anger.  
  
  
  
****  
  
Michael was truly afraid for his friend, it was the same feeling he had the night Gus was born...when they were on that rooftop and he took Brian's hand in his. "Not again." He whispered. He knew Brian really was unaware of the danger and if Michael didn't join him he'd doing something even more stupid. He began to walk towards Brian, tentatively stepping onto the ice. He was scared it would break, but he had to do it for Brian. He could do this.   
  
  
  
Brian smiled and watched Michael approaching him carefully.  
  
****  
  
Debbie was shocked again as she watched her son walk onto the ice to join Brian. "Oh no. Damnit Michael, why does he always do what Brian asks? He's smarter than this, this is too dangerous, my son could be...." She choked on tears.  
  
Carl to comfort her, ""We have to get to the other side of the lake and tell them to get off of it.  
  
"You're right." She agreed.  
  
"Hurry up." He said as they quickly made their way.  
  
****  
  
Finally Michael was in front of Brian, looking at him angrily. He slipped but Brian caught him before he hit the ice. Brian held him tightly in his arms and hugged him.  
  
Michael pulled away and said, "Now what? Will you ask me to play Lois Lane again for the Superman on ice show?"  
  
Brian laughed, looking into Michael's eyes, he felt love. Michael's love. His fear was all gone, he was ready to say it now.  
  
"Michael, I want you to know that I lo..."  
  
But a scream interrupted him, it was Debbie. "Idiots! Come back here now before I come out there and kill you." She ordered.  
  
Michael and Brian were both surprised to see Debbie and Carl.   
  
"Ma?" Said Michael.  
  
"Deb?" Said Brian  
  
When Brian and Michael finally made it safely off the ice, the first thing Debbie did was hit them both. She was so angry she felt out of control.   
  
"You two are such idiots!" My god, I can't believe this!" She yelled.  
  
Michael said nothing, obviously feeling shamed for scaring his mother.  
  
  
  
Brian, still oblivious to what could have happened to them both if the ice broke said, "C'mon Deb, it's not the end of the world."  
  
Debbie looked at him furiously, "YOU! Don't you talk to me, you could have killed my son! I don't want to see you until I calm down, and believe me it'll take some time before that happens." She shouted.  
  
Michael tried to stand up for Brian, "Ma, he wasn't...."  
  
Debbie interrupted him, "Shut up Michael. You follow me home because we need to talk, and don't say no, you have no choice."  
  
Seeing how furious his mother was, Michael nodded his head and obeyed her like he did when he was a kid. Turning back to Brian he said, "See you tomorrow."  
  
"Yep." He said. Brian watched them leave, he didn't understand why Debbie was that angry with him. Turning back to the frozen lake he approached it again, bent down and placed his hand on it.  
  
'This ice is solid enough.' He thought and suddenly the ice broked under his hand and he felt the water. It was so cold it hurt him as sharply a being sliced with a knife. That was when he realized just what kind of danger he had put them in.  
  
"Oh my god." He stammered, shocked by the realization. He thanked God they had been so lucky that the ice didn't break when they were on it.  
  
Everyone had been concious of the danger, except for Brian. He gazed at the ice, remembering a panicked Michael begging him to get off the ice, an obviously scared Michael cautiously walking across the frozen lake to him. He also remembered Michael's story about Rage and Zephyr, "he was happy and peaceful knowing that he was sacrificing himself for his best friend's happiness."  
  
And Brian remembered his own words when he was on the ice,  
  
"You want me to die alone?"  
  
"We'll die together"  
  
He continued to stare into the ice in shock, he hadn't meant what he said, he wasn't serious. But Mikey had been aware of the danger lurking beneath them, for him that was the reality. And despite everything, despite the danger, Michael chose to go to him. "Shit. Why Mikey?" He whispered.  
  
He needed to go to Lindsay's home, he wanted to see his son.  
  
  
  
****  
  
"Brian?" Lindsay asked as she opened the door.  
  
"I want to see Gus." He said in a strange voice.  
  
She knew immediately that something was wrong. "He's already asleep."  
  
"I don't care. I want to see him, I won't make any noise."  
  
"Okay." She said, and closed the door behind him.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
Carl said his goodbyes as he dropped Debbie and Michael off at the house.   
  
Vic was surprised to see his sister in such a rage. He couldn't remember ever seeing her in such a state. Michael didn't know how to react, he played it safe and decided to keep his mouth shut until she calmed down.  
  
"Michael Charles Novotny! You really disappointed me today. You're an idiot. I thought you were smarter than that. How could do that? Such a stupid thing! Such a dangerous fucking thing! It's a miracle you're here safe and sound! So you realize that! Michael!!" She yelled.  
  
"I know." Michael said simply.  
  
"I guess you do know. Brian Kinney has gone to far this time! How could he ask you to do that! And how could YOU do it! He's always had a handle on you and you always follow him! Even now, you're an adult and you still do it! I just don't understand you. When you were with Ben, I thought all this would change. But you refused his proposal and broke up with him, and after all that nothing changed! You're still around Brian, still waiting for him. He's always going to hurt you and you don't seem to care. He's never going to fuck you, he's never said anything to make you think he would. Brian is Brian. You must open your eyes honey, before it's too late. I was so worried about you, you were really stupid tonight, I can't bear it!" She ranted.  
  
Michael stayed calm, "You done?" He asked softly.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I'm sorry that I scared you like that. I know you were afraid and I understand it. You worry about me and I understand that too. I'm your son and you love me and you only want my happiness. And I love you too Ma."  
  
"Michael..." Debbie said softly.  
  
"But you must understand something, it's my life. My choices. And whatever happens, I love Brian. Always have, always will. I'm not scared to admit it anymore, I'm in love with him. Have been since the first time I met him. For most of my life I've fought my feelings for him and denied it. And I'm not an idiot. I knew the risk I was taking when I walked across the lake to join him."  
  
"What? Are you crazy?"  
  
"No. I want you to know the truth about my love for Brian. I would die for him, for his happiness, and to protect him too. Without regret and no hesitation."  
  
"Don't say that Michael. Life is a precious gift, you don't have the right to sacrifice yourself for someone. Brian isn't worthy of that sacrifice, I understand you love him but he doesn't deserve that."  
  
"You're wrong. Brian is the only one who deserves it. I would do anything for him. If I died and my death could change his life...change his life the way it was when he was growing up with that family of his...I'd die now! But it's not possible. Brian isn't who you think and neither am I."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"It took me years to understand. Everyone always said, 'Poor Michael, he's been waiting for 18 years and Brian will never fuck him....Brian handles Michael....Brian always hurts Michael.....Michael's waiting for Brian to be ready, but he never will, he will never change his life for Michael....Brian is immature and selfish....Why can't Michael forget him and let go?' All these years and I've heard it all, sometimes I believed it and that made me make the biggest mistakes of my life. Like leaving Pittsburgh after Justin's bashing. But the truth was, I was so insecure, so unaware of who I really was, what I really could do. I never believed Brian when he told me, 'You're better than this.....You are fantastic.' I just didn't believe it. But thanks to David, he showed me that Brian was right but it wasn't enough. And I thank God that Ben was sent into my life too. I've learned a lot, I discovered myself and Brian is right...I am strong. But I'm not a saint."  
  
"What are you saying baby?"  
  
"Everyone sees Brian as the devil and me as an angel. It's not true. I've hurt Brian too many times. When I was with David I played with Brian's jealousy because of Justin. Before Justin, Brian didn't do boyfriends or relationships. Just one night stands, not love, not me. When I saw him with Justin, I understood what real pain is...watching the person you love with another. And I'm not like Brian who was willing to sacrifice our friendship because it would bring me happiness, because he thought it was better for me to be without him and with David. When I saw Justin and Ethan kissing, I told him about it.   
  
And Ben, he taught me a lot and I thank him because if he hadn't of been there I may not have been able to bear Brian's relationship with Justin. And what did I do? I broke Ben's heart. I told him in the beginning that I loved Brian. Yes I was being honest but I was selfish too. And I really did love Ben. And when he proposed to me out of the fear that he would lose me, I broke his heart again. I was so cruel with him, he gave me everything but my love for him wasn't enough. I am the only one to blame. But I've grown up, I know who I am and I know I'm ready for Brian. Yes, I wanted him all these years but this "waiting game" has been easier on me than on him. I'm finally ready to fight all of his fears, and he is scared. I'll show him that love exists, that he deserves love even if it means I have to risk my life to prove it." Michael said all of this in a steady voice, his face showing the seriousness of his words.  
  
"Michael...it is your life, and these are your choices. I just want you to be happy."  
  
"I am happy Ma." He said and hugged her tightly. "Can you forgive Brian?"  
  
"Ya, I'll forgive the asshole. But I still need a couple of days.   
  
Michael smiled brightly, it felt great to explain his feelings to his mom finally.  
  
Vic wound his arm around his nephew, "I'm so proud of you Michael." He said simply.  
  
"I think she's still pretty angry. I know she's worried about me, and I know she loves Brian like a son."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I've made a decision Vic, I'm strong enough to face it and Brian seems to be ready. "I'm telling him the truth tomorrow. I mean, I know that he knows I have feelings for him, but, I've never made them clear. I'm doing it tomorrow. I'm ready for this, no matter what happens."  
  
Vic smiled with pride at his nephew and hugged him close.  
  
****  
  
Brian stood in Gus's room and quietly watched his son sleep. Lindsay wanted to know what was bothering him, she asked Melanie to stay in their bedroom because she needed to speak with Brian alone. After a few moments of silence, Brian told Lindsay about the incident at the lake, Michael's reaction and then the Rage storyline.  
  
"It's okay now Brian, you're both alright. That's what is important." She said softly, she didn't want to blame him.  
  
"He's so pathetic. Why did he act like that? He's so blind...I don't deserve it." He whispered. The with more anger, and louder he said, "He was stupid to act like that. His life is too precious...I don't care about mine but his life...it's different. He's so stupid!"  
  
"It is Michael's life, and it was his choice. You can't choose what is good or bad for him Brian. He knows what's right for him and you have to accept that. It's not for you to decide if you are worthy ot not, only Michael can do that. And he thinks he deserves you, and that's the only truth."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Why? You know the answer Brian, it's because he loves you...because it's you."  
  
"But why? Love is a fucking fairy tale for little girls...it's an illusion. How can he love me when my own parents didn't love me?"  
  
"Love isn't an illusion Brian and you know that because you love too that proves that love exists."  
  
Brian smiled sarcastically and shook his head, "I don't do love."  
  
"You do." She insisted softly, "You do Brian."  
  
"No!" He said, his voice wavering...he wanted to deny these feelings.  
  
"You do." She repeated, deciding that she would continue to repeat it until he started to believe.  
  
Suddenly, Brian's mask broke and tears began to roll down his face. Lindsay was a little surprised, she knew this side of Brian existed, but never saw him before. It made her smile.  
  
  
  
Brian cried, and with a cracking voice said, "I'm so weak. I'm weak and I'm hurt because I only wanted to be loved." Finally, after all this time Brian's heart decided to break free from the prison he had built around it for his safety.  
  
"You are loved. Brian, you are!" Lindsay said, her voice filled with love for her friend.  
  
"I'm so scared Linds. My parents broke my heart, I'm broken and hopeless. If I allow myself to hope once again, if things go bad and I lose the person I love...it'll be the end. There's no coming back from it again. I won't survive. I'm terrified that it could happen. Mikey is everything to me...he was my gift in this life and I couldn't ask for more. If I had given in, given him that fuck he always wanted he might realize that it was all just a fantasy. He might have realized that he didn't really love me. It was a good thing to deny him, because he's never stopped loving me. Being his best friend was great, he'd always be there. I always thought so until David, that's when I realized that he could be taken away from me."  
  
"But you know now you were wrong, he cared for David but he never stopped loving you. His feelings never changed."  
  
"I know, I understand that but I'm still scared. It's out of my control. I'm so much in love with him...I always have been and always will be." Brian felt so at ease finally, his feelings were finally spoken aloud. He trusted Lindsay and was glad she was by his side at this moment.  
  
"You know how he feels about you, and now that you've admitted your feelings you must..."  
  
But Brian interruped Lindsay and said with an cocky smile, proving he was feeling better. "He never told me that he's is in love with me."  
  
"Brian!!" She was starting to feel desperate. "Listen to me, you perfectly well know that he is in love with you. And you know that he was willing to risk his own life for yours. So the only question is, 'Are you ready to risk your life for him too? Are you ready to set aside your fears and hope again? For Michael?"   
  
She kissed him gently on the cheek and said, "I'll get some blankets and a pillow, you can sleep here tonight in your son's room."  
  
"Thanks Linds, for everything."  
  
Just before she left he said, "If you repeat any of this to anyone, I'll kill you..even if you are the mother of my child!"  
  
"I'll keep it secret." She said with a smile, "I promise."  
  
****  
  
Brian watched his sleeping son lovingly, "Your dad's made a decision Sonny Boy."  
  
****  
  
At 'The Black Hole', in room 212 Brian waited for Michael. This time he was dressed, he didn't come here to fuck he came to talk. Michael entered the dark room and Brian's heart jumped. He felt Michael draw closer, then Michael reached out and touched him. Brian was scared, but confident. He breathed in deeply.  
  
"So," Michael said, "you're not naked today. That's good, because I'm dressed too."  
  
Brian was surprised, he didn't know what to say.  
  
"We need to talk Brian, can we go somewhere else?"  
  
Brian was in shock. Michael knew it was him? How?  
  
Brian and Michael returned to the park, mainly because they just weren't sure where to go and talk discreetly, privately. Brian didn't feel going back to the loft was right, and Emmett was in Mikey's apartment so that was out of the question.  
  
While they walked, Brian said nothing. He was too shocked by the turn of events and wondered of Justin and Ethan had discovered he was the man in room 212 that night, and did they tell Mikey? He cast a worried glance at Michael who seemed calm, he didn't seem angry at all.  
  
Once they arrived in the park, they made their way once again to the frozen lake. Brian's eyes looked towards it with guilt.  
  
"Don't worry about it." Michael said.  
  
"Is Deb still mad at me?"  
  
"Yes, but she won't be for long. She was scared for you, not just me."  
  
"And you? Are you mad at me?"  
  
"What? No!" Michael reassured. "You weren't thinking right, you didn't see the danger."  
  
"But you did." Brian softly said and his heart began to beat faster.  
  
"Yes, I did. Brian...we need to talk. Seriously this time, about us."  
  
"I know...." He paused. "Justin found out it was me, and he told you...that it was me in the club." Brian concluded out loud. "Do you hate me? I understand if you do, you have every reason too..."  
  
Michael looked at Brian with curiosity. "What are you talking about? Why would Justin know anything? What did he say?"  
  
Brian could only look back at him in confusion, "You asked Justin and Ethan to find out who your mystery fuck was."  
  
Michael stared at him incredulously, "What? No! Are you crazy? I never said anything like that to them!"  
  
"But, the guy you met yesterday...." Brian began to stammer.  
  
"The guy that Justin found who wanted to see his Spiderman comic book? Turned out to be a mistake, wrong issue number. I thought he had the very first issue, but he told me he had a different number."  
  
That's when it hit Brian, the truth, he realized what was going on and was pissed. "Shit!" He yelled.  
  
"What are you mad Brian?"  
  
"That little shit! Justin lied to me, he's going to pay for using me like this." He yelled.  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"It's a long story, I'll tell you after I kill Mr. Taylor and his fucking boyfriend."   
  
Brian realized something suddenly, if Mikey had never been searching for his trick, how did he know it had been Brian?  
  
"Mikey, how did you know it was me at the club? I never spoke to you."   
  
Michael smiled softly at Brian. "In the beginning.. the first time, I didn't know it was you but there was something familiar. I couldn't put my finger on it, but by the end of our time together I knew what it was. I recognized something by touch, your bracelet. There's only one bracelet like that and you're never without it."  
  
Brian looked at his wrist, shocked, he never even thought about that. "Fuck." He muttered.  
  
"I thought I'd have a heart attack when I discovered it was you Brian." Michael continued. "I panicked but at the same time I was ecstatic. I wanted you to know it was me, that's why I broke the rules, I wanted you to hear my voice. I asked for another meeting because I just needed to see if you'd be back. You did, and you didn't say anything so neither did I. I didn't want to pressure you, I didn't want to make you decide. I chose to talk, that was my choice and I am responsible. I'm glad you came back that second time, because it was even more amazing than our first. We made love twice, and it was enough to make me realize that I was finally ready for this. I didn't make our meeting tonight for sex."  
  
Brian listened intently to his words. He was scared to death, his heart was ponding wildly in his chest. 'You can do it.' He told himself. Then he remembered Lindsay's words to him the night before, 'Are you ready to risk your life for him too? Are you ready to set aside your fears and hope again? For Michael?'  
  
"Yes, I am." He thought.   
  
Michael moved closer to him, "Brian, I know you are aware already, but I want to see it clearly..." He looked deep into Brian's eyes with all the love in his heart and confessed in a soft voice, "I love you Brian Kinney. Not only as a friend, I'm truly in love with you. Whatever happens between us, my heart will always belong to you."  
  
Michael smiled up at him. Brian was panicking, but there was nothing in comparison with the warmth that had invaded his heart when he heard those words from Mikey.  
  
"Brian?? Can you say something? Or must I wait another 18 years to have an answer?" He said quietly. "You know...I could wait..." He laughed.  
  
Brian smiled at the thought and took Michael's hand in his happily. "Mikey, I fell in love with you the first moment I met you. I love you deeply. Always have, always will. So I give you my heart, my love, my fears, my hopes....my life. Please, take all of me." He asked, his voice quivering with emotion and tears slowly rolled down his face.  
  
Michael move closer to Brian, "I promise, I'll take all of you and I'll make you strong. You'll become strong for both of us too."  
  
Then Michael kissed him softly, Brian responded and the kiss grew deeper. It was a long, loving kiss. Afterwards Brian pulled away and smiled down at Michael.  
  
"Mikey, I want to take you to the most luxious hotel in town to make love to you all the night. We deserve a suite as if we are kings! In fact we are kings!"  
  
"It's too expensive Brian! That's too much money for one night."  
  
"I don't care, nothing is too expensive for my Mikey! And you are my man! The only love of the great Brian Kinney." He said proudly.  
  
For the first time in his life, Brian felt free...truly happy.  
  
They spent their first night together in the most expensive room at the most luxurious hotel in downtown Pittsburgh. They made love all night and fell asleep in each others arms. Brian awoke and watched Michael sleeping lovingly, and woke him with some regret.  
  
"Mikey?"  
  
Michael smiled at him in surprise, "What?"  
  
"Where were you...since you weren't living with David? I know you lied, and I need to know why."  
  
"What?" Michael asked in surprise and confusion.  
  
"Mikey you liked and I want the truth now...or I'll never touch you again!" He threatened.  
  
"Did Ethan tell you?"  
  
"Ethan? No, David did."  
  
"Do we have to talk about this now? I'm tired and want to sleep."  
  
  
  
"Now Mikey!" Brian demanded.  
  
"Well, I realized that I didn't love David and I told him it was over. I wanted to come home at first, to be near you after Justin's bashing but I knew that the others wouldn't understand. I was a coward, I didn't want our friends and Ma thinking I was back because of you. Even though it was true. I needed time to think and I didn't want anyone angry with you because my relationship with David failed...it wasn't your fault. So I decided to go to New York and when I was there I met a woman...life is so strange." He said with a chuckle. "I discovered this past weekend that the woman I met is Ethan's aunt.   
  
Anyhow, I got a job in some gay bar. I was miserable there without you, I thought about you all the time and hoped you were doing well. I wanted to stay there long enough so that when enough time had passed and I returned and admitted David and I were split up, you wouldn't get the blame. I started to panic when you didn't respond to any of my messages. That's when I came back, as you know, and I felt like I had lost everything in my life because of my cowardice. That's it, you know the rest. I kept it a secret all this time because I feel ashamed. I just wanted to be with you and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm strong enough now to tell anyone who doesn't like it to fuck off."  
  
"I understand. I know I wasn't answering your messages, but I was always thinking of you. And when you came back, I was too angry because you left me alone. But that was partly my fault, I should have told you I wanted you to stay. But that's in the past, and the important thing right now is us. It's been 18 years Mikey, that's a long time." Brian smiled at him and asked, "So, do you prefer a house or an apartment?"  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For a place of our very own."  
  
"A house."  
  
"Perfect." Brian said and kissed Michael passionately, before making love to him again.  
  
  
  
I look into the window of my mind  
  
Reflections of the fears I know I've left behind  
  
I step out of the ordinary  
  
I can feel my soul ascending  
  
I am on my way  
  
Can't stop me now  
  
And you can do the same  
  
What have you done today to make you feel proud?  
  
It's never too late to try  
  
What have you done today to make you feel proud?  
  
You could be so many people  
  
If you make that break for freedom  
  
What have you done today to make you feel proud?  
  
Still so many answers I don't know  
  
Realise that to question is how we grow  
  
So I step out of the ordinary  
  
I can feel my soul ascending  
  
I am on my way  
  
Can't stop me now  
  
And you can do the same  
  
What have you done today to make you feel proud?  
  
It's never too late to try  
  
What have you done today to make you feel proud?  
  
You could be so many people  
  
If you make that break for freedom  
  
What have you done today to make you feel proud?  
  
We need a change  
  
Do it today  
  
I can feel my spirit rising  
  
We need a change  
  
So do it today  
  
'Cause I can see a clear horizon  
  
What have you done today to make you feel proud?  
  
So what have you done today to make you feel proud?  
  
'Cause you could be so many people  
  
If you make that break for freedom  
  
So what have you done today to make you feel proud?  
  
What have you done today to make you feel proud?  
  
What have you done today  
  
You could be so many people?  
  
Just make that break for freedom  
  
So what have you done today to make you feel proud?  
  
EPILOGUE:  
  
-Five years later-  
  
"What is that?" Brian asked.   
  
"Lasagna." Michael said proudly.   
  
"Are you kidding? This *thing* doesn't look like lasagna!"  
  
Today is Michael's day to cook, he insists on cooking at least once a week. But he's a horrible cook. Two months ago he decided to take cooking lessons, he goes once a week but it just isn't enough. Trust me when I say, he is the worst cook in the world. All those years with Deb didn't teach him a thing.  
  
But I love him and I make the effort, but I'm always honest. If it's awful I'll tell him. I do that because I love him, always have and always will.  
  
He's kept his promise. He made me strong enough for the both of us too. Sometimes I'm still an asshole, I am who I am. And sometimes Mikey is still "pathetic" but he is who he is. We fight, and it's often my fault. Sometimes it's his fault. I rarely apologize. I am Brian Kinney after all. But it works....and sometimes I do apologize. I'm really happy."  
  
Before I didn't do love, now I do and it is hard. Some days it's harder than others, but I try. I still get scared, but I'm doing alright.  
  
Before I didn't do jealous, but I do now. In fact, it's the main reason we fight. I tried to hide it, but when Ben came back from Tibet I was so scared and insecure. Fortunately, Mikey knew and he knew just how to handle me. He forgave me for being such an asshole with poor Ben. Like I said, I am who I am and I just wanted to keep Mikey with me.   
  
And I always have those pictures of him in drag, just in case....  
  
Before I didn't do romantic, I've since learned I am a romantic. I was scared that I'd seem ridiculous when ideas would come to mind. The truth is, I love this romantic shit. Sometimes I think I enjoy it more than Michael. Isn't that strange? I think I'm Lois Lane and Michael is showing me the world.  
  
Before I didn't do boyfriends, and that hasn't changed. Mikey is not my boyfriend, he's my husband and I'm his. We got married quickly, he wears my ring and everyone knows he's taken. He's mine.  
  
Sometimes I think about everything that happened five years ago, and laugh at the memory. It was an amazing time. Oh ya, I didn't kill Justin for his part in the game.  
  
I'm so proud of the couple Mikey and I have become. We are so hot together. People envy us. I, of course, enjoy it...I know we're hot.  
  
Mikey's new comic book is a huge success, and I have my own advertising agency.  
  
I was scared that something would change between us when we got together, but it didn't. We're still best friends and now lovers. Actually, I think nothing has ever changed between us. We've always been best friends and in a way we were always lovers, since the beginning. We are the dymanic duo.  
  
Fuck! This lasagna tastes really, really bad. It's definitely the worst thing he's ever cooked. I don't think I'll ever look at lasagna the same way again.  
  
  
  
"It's not that bad." Michael said.  
  
"Are you joking? It's fucking awful!" Brian said.  
  
"Thanks for your honesty. You could have said that nicer."  
  
"It's the truth. But since I love you so much I'll eat this...thing. You did try your best and cooked all day."  
  
"Thanks Brian. I won't cook anymore. It's just not my thing." Michael said with regret.  
  
"You serious?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Okay, if that's what you really want."  
  
"It is. And the truth is, I really don't like cooking."  
  
"Thank you god for showing me pity."  
  
Epilogue michael 's version  
  
-Five years later-  
  
"What is that?" Brian asked.  
  
"Lasagna." Michael said proudly.  
  
"Are you kidding? This *thing* doesn't look like lasagna!"  
  
Today is my day to cook, I insist on cooking at least once a week. But I'm a horrible cook, I wanted to learn because Brian always cooks or we go to restaurants. I wanted to make an effort, but when I see the look on his face when he just sees my lasagna...I know it just isn't working.  
  
Eighteen years of friendship and five years like a couple and everything is going well. Ok, sometimes, Brian can still be Brian the asshole. I still think about how he was with Ben when he came back from Tibet, but I knew he was just afraid to lose me. I love him so much, and he surprises me often.  
  
The one thing about him that I adore the most and hate at the same time is his jealousy. I like it when he's jealous, but sometimes it's too much. It's usually the reason we fight.  
  
He wanted to get married after that first night together in the hotel, in fact he proposed to me the very next day. Five years...I think he was scared that I would disappear or something like that. I'll remember the moment we announced our intentions to our family and friends till the day I die...no one knew we were together. Best friends on a Sunday, lovers wanting to be married on a Tuesday. They were shocked, it was fun and I was so proud of Brian.  
  
  
  
He became stronger. I'm still the stronger one but Brian is stronger now. He takes care of me like I take care of him. At the beginning I thought maybe our new relationship would be a huge change because now we were lovers. But no, it was the same, and that was the most difficult thing for my mom and all of our friends to understand. They thought things wouldn't work between us because they didn't see any real change happening. That's because, in a way, we were always lovers...right from the beginning.  
  
His romantic side has really surprised me. He loves to be romantic. I remember the first time he did something romantic, he was so shy, scared and probably thought I'd laugh at him. But I didn't, I was amazed. He's definitely more of a romantic than I am, and when I do something romantic for him he's like a child who has seen the sea for the first time. His eyes light up.  
  
This side of Brian is our secret.. nobody knows. Actually, Ma does because she had bad timing one day and visited us when Brian prepared a romantic surprise for me. I regret that I wasn't there, I would have loved to have seen the look on her face. Brian told me that she was so surprised that she kept silent for 15 whole minutes, definitely a record for my mom.  
  
But she kept the secret too.  
  
Oh god! This lasagna *is* awful. He'll kill me this time, and the truth is I don't like cooking. It's just not my thing. I've decided to stop cooking this time, I hope he won't be disappointed.  
  
"It's not that bad." Michael said.  
  
"Are you joking? It's fucking awful!" Brian said.  
  
"Thanks for your honesty. You could have said that nicer."  
  
"It's the truth. But since I love you so much I'll eat this...thing. You did try your best and cooked all day."  
  
"Thanks Brian. I won't cook anymore. It's just not my thing." Michael said with regret.  
  
"You serious?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Okay, if that's what you really want."  
  
"It is. And the truth is, I really don't like cooking."  
  
He sure does seem happy about my decision, good thing, because I really do hate to cook.  
  
FIN . 


End file.
